Sometimes we have this kind of feeling “I am not good enough”, “I am not lucky”. We usually put blame on environment or destiny, which – in our opinion – control our life. Let’s stop for a while and invest time to make friends with a very important person in your life. Yourself.
Considering the fact, that every human has different experiences, expectations and perception of the world – one thing is common. The heart of the issue of missing self-acceptance, is not only the way you are treated by others, but foremost, how you treat yourself. Self-acceptance is a long process but incredibly worth of effort.
Start from yourself
Making excuses is one of the easiest way to discontinue our activities. How many times thoughts like “it doesn’t make sense”, “it is impossible to change myself” manipulated your choices and led you to surrender? By nature we try to simplify our life making seemingly safe decisions by choosing excuses. We forget about the fact that destiny is in our hands. In March 2014 the psychologists from University of Hertfordshire conducted a survey about happiness proving that habit which corresponded most closely with being happy with overall life is self-acceptance.*
Find your advantages and right people
Take a piece of paper and start writing about the things you like about yourself. The second step is to write about your achievements, yes, these little ones too. It will open your mind for positive emotions. In admission, if you want to develop the list of your advantages and need some external motivation in the beginning – ask your friend for creating the list of things, they like in your personality with explanations or let them describe common positive experiences you both had. Discuss together and hang both lists in a place where you spend most of your time.
Act in the circle of impact
Try to think about the things, that you want to change; improving qualifications, loosing weight etc. Additionally, you can find issues that interfere with your happiness. At first, make decisions in the area where you have influence. It will build your self-esteem step by step.
Treat yourself good
What does it really mean? My father always reminds me that for people thankfulness comes hard. At the end of the day you can try to write down about two or three things that you are gratefulf to yourself for. Thank yourself for the “good things” you have done from your perspective. Approximately after a month you will collect about 50 positive thoughts! Be aware of the fact, that everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes take the liberty to do so. Nobody is perfect.
Do not compare yourself to others
Avoid comparisons. Treat yourself special. Noone has the same talent, color of iris, bodyshape, memories or achievements. He or she will never be you. On the contrary – someone can can envy things, which you are not aware of. Do not waste your time thinking about someone’s else life. Use your potential, chances and abilities.
Create dreams and set goals
Having a purpose in life motivates incredibly, especially if it is based on your dreams. They do come true if you believe in their fulfilment and carry out some effort. Set small and approachable goals in the beginning. You will feel more confident, because independence, regularity and consistency influence our self-esteem.
Failure is not a failure
Remove word “failure” from your dictionary. Substitute it with “lesson”. Our brain “listens” to the words we say. By using positive sounding words you will put youself in a positive attitude.
The fact is, I don’t do everything right all the time, but that doesn’t affect who I am. I know I’m loved and that I’m still a good person. I’ve made mistakes in my life—and I’m sure I’ll make mistakes in the future—but I still like myself. Joyce Meyer
Control inner monolog
Critical voices telling you to give up steer your whole mind. Most of people are not aware, how important role it plays in making every day decisions. It may motivate you, or bring you down – depends on what they tell you. Start to follow your thoughts and replace the negative with positive. To excercise – you can write all the negative thoughts you have heard. It is good to write them instantly to safe them from oblivion. Read them aloud, then cross them out to make your brain forget them visually. Analyse every thought, asking yourself in form of self coaching: “why did I think this way?” It will help you find the problem, that may stop you from making right conscious decisions and being happy.
To sum up – treat yourself well. Follow your needs, listen to yourself and create your new, brighter reality. Open yourself for new emotions and conscious happy life.